My Personal Healing Journey
A journey of rediscovery, re-connection, and remembering...
Once upon a time...
I used to over-consume food and things as a way to avoid feelings of emptiness and expansiveness of being. I did not know these "feelings" of enlightened expansion and shadow contractions were my gifts.
As a consequence, I spent years denying my true "unknowable" self out of fear of losing love, family, friends, and community. I didn't know love is ever-present within me and that I always have enough for me and enough to share.
I used to withdraw from the world to avoid feeling disappointment and grief that comes with the loss of people, places, and things. I didn't know I had to make daily deposits too.
I also used to distance myself from the world as a way to hide from my own vulnerabilities. I didn't know how to apply important boundaries and judiciousness without disconnecting from those who are my kindred spirits.
While I don't struggle with those past issues anymore, my life journey is a work in progress. African traditions remind us that we are all becoming. For as long as we are living, we are becoming. In Western thought, this can means continuous growth.
Today, I look inward to face my Creator for inner balance, harmony, and guidance at every turn. I feel ever increasing contentment. I have a close loving relationship with my inner divinity and its outer expression that surpasses external issues and challenges.
With Great Father, Mother, and Spiritual Mysteries as my guides, I carefully choose who I keep in my circle and what I allow in my life. I practice deep listening, silence, and presence with an expanding loving community. I judiciously approach life while remaining compassionate and open to endless possibilities. I live wellness and mysticism as a way of being as it helps me to fulfill my highest purpose and mission.
What helped me harmonize with my personal imbalances?
1. Rooting myself in my lineage and ancestral practices helped me know and recognize who and what I was without all the fear, shame, and guilt.
2. Meditation, Deep Listening, Introspection helped me make peace with the "great void" and mysteries that are all around me all the time.
3. Moving at a slower page and honoring my natural rhythm helped me engage the world in healthier ways. I am better able to recognize my truth when it presents itself.
4. Embracing mystical experiences as a way of life helped me face my fears and build the wisdom and courage to live my life without apology.
5. Engaging a wellness lifestyle (good nutrition, activity, etc.) helped me practice self-compassion and physical preservation so I can enjoy life without over-indulging.
6. Mission-based living helps me wake up on purpose and ready to cultivate simplicity in life. Drama is optional.
7. Purposeful giving with an open-heart, clarity of mind, and gut-instinct. I share from a place of abundance and prosperity regardless of any struggle I may be facing. Keeping my mind, heart, and gut on my correct path. This also met letting go of damaging people, places, or things.
8. Lastly, to be joyously CREATIVE and heARTFUL in all I do. That's my "don" as we way in Haitian Kreyol. That is my gift.
For over two decades, I've supported women and men in various stages of their journeys.
I've found there are the 2 most challenging things which prevents inner peace: self-trust, closely followed by patience. Both are absolutely necessary for cultivating a sages' life.
I learned to build self-trust and cultivate patience, one day at a time. There's no quick fix and no magic pill.
Living my practice as it leads me closer to myself.
N'Spirit,
Rev Tutu (Updated 11/10/2020)
